Marketing Nausea

Preface:
After spending a significant amount of time with salesmen this weekend and also watching copious amounts of televised sporting events (not to mention sports talk radio, FM, interviews, promos, talk shows, you name it) I began to get this sick feeling in my stomach. I was an Advertising & Marketing Major in college and whether I didn't pay enough attention (possibility) or I suddenly developed a soul (strangely possible as well) in the past 4 years, but I find marketing to be just nauseating.

Marketing Strategy:
After listening to salesmen pitch their garbage, listening to TV timeouts, interviews with players, TV commercials, radio commercials, those fucking espn VIZIO radio spots, I literally got so fed up with it that upon the first marketing spot I heard on the radio this morning, I turned it off and made my journey to work in silence. As a former Ad major, I do understand the need for companies to get their product out, and even in ways typically exhibited by Nike or other majors by the induction of emotion through film-short-like commercials or spokes-people such as Lance Armstrong and Mike Vick! (woof). But outside of that, I find the entire process of marketing and salesmanship to be so revolting and shallow that I honestly get agitated when it comes on air. I enjoy a creative commercial or even radio spot from time to time.

My preference however, would be to simply have a member of the company (ideally someone who can string a proper sentence together) appear on TV or radio and simply say "Hello, I am Dick Johnson, from the ABCD Company and I would like to inform you of our new series of products that should supplement our previous series or in many ways further produce from the products you are currently using. Our market share to this point is ?% and we firmly believe if you head out to (name of stores carrying) and can afford to spend $XX.00 we believe you could benefit in X number of ways. Thank you for your time and we hope to gain you as a loyal costumer in the future. Have a great day!" and get the fuck off the air. Or perhaps if you have a large budget and a good creative team that can put something together that is entertaining or rewarding to me. Because anything else is just an unabashed waste of my time, money and my already deteriorating patience, resulting in my purposefully avoiding your products to my own detriment, if need be.

Shameless self representation:
Something I still do not understand in a similar, albeit more individual circumstance is Company pride? I don't get it. I think it's weird. Pathetic and futile. I could be Leasing up half of Chicago, be the #1 guy here for a lifetime and you would probably have to twist my arm to tell you who I work for and why. My answer would doubtlessly be two words "company name (as an acronym) and for-profit". That would probably be on a good day, on a bad day, I might just ignore you and keep walking by and just drop a business card on the ground somewhere. These people who drift-uselessly across the Earth spreading word of their company and all its mighty glory, sharing “Bill Brasky” sized tales of their companies great fortune. I don't get it, I will never understand why you place such importance on your company’s fiscal accomplishments onto your self-worth or even their global accomplishments onto your self-worth, especially while promoting the company. I went back into my folders filled with jobs I interviewed for before graduation and I almost began to laugh in an evil monotone because if I had taken any of those jobs and then we fast forward 4 years. "Always represent our company in the best of light. Every person a friend, every friend a customer. Broad strategic marketing (ah hem...telemarketing)." hmmmm, not a fucking chance and I have friends I loathe and I wouldn't schlep some product on them. In all likelihood, my employer would swing into my office and dump off a box of trash with our logo on them, and I would enthusiastically laugh at him and dump it all in the garbage bin nearest his office on my way out the door.

Try selling your product or gaining your customer base displaying accountable honest effort & product merit, not on trash marketing, cold calls and shameless promotion.