Ridculousness

Preface:
The following is an excerpt from a cnn.com posted article. I regrettably read the entire piece but will subject you to only the first portion.

"Get outta my head, lady! That is totally my dating dilemma -- being forced to choose between bad and worse. Being experienced enough to know that there are no guarantees, it only makes it easier for me to choose the path of least resistance ... go with the moment and throw away the future. But in the end, the moment passes and the empty future lurks ahead.

Cary does offer an alternative option, and I'm not so sure it sounds very fun to me -- say goodbye to your single life. Cary writes:

"How do you become ready to move from one stage of life to the next? It helps to openly admit that it's going to be sad to leave this stage of life you've enjoyed so much ... Give away what you have been withholding and withhold what you've been giving away. It means get real. Tell him you want a man to fall in love with and stay with, and if that's a problem for him then OK there are plenty of chicks ... because if you want a lifetime relationship it will be full of honesty and vulnerability and pain."

I:
Somewhat unrelated to this article; I am often entertained when I listen to people stutter on about their lives, however unhappy or confused they claim to be. I can sit and listen to people go on about their troubles for hours, in a not-so-nice way, I find it comical.

I especially find talks about relationships or life stages to be the most rewarding (in a comedic sense). This article was no different, while slightly frustrating for me as a single guy to know this is what I have to choose from, I still managed to extract some much needed laughter from it. The real bonus of this article was the mixture of life stages AND "finding love".

II:
I've broken this article up into three (3) parts, I find once it's in manageable pieces (of shit) it is even more fun to laugh at. The first theme mentioned here is the idea of a "single life" vs. "relationship life" which by its nature would lead you to believe the two are different existences entirely. This struck me as a glaring example of why people fail at both relationships and life. That reason is; stupidity and lack of common sense. "Mourn your single life first" is what the author says. Really? mourn it? What in the hell good does this do? Answer: none.

This is completely nonsensical in both behavior and theory. Reasoning here is simple, people can't and don't change. They don't, trust me. All they can do is displace or suppress. Both of which are short term answers and will eventually manifest themselves again (most likely at the worst possible time). To act one way under the heading "single life" then to figure, when I meet "the one", I will just adjust my behavior and norms to conform to a more organized lifestyle is so ridiculous and irrational that it begs questioning your sanity and intelligence.

I will never understand those who set a time frame for marriage or those who must "explore" before settling down. What the hell is there to explore? You want to see some places, good deal. Book a flight. You want to get laid in an airplane, buy a trick and go fly around the city.

"I really need to experience seeing other people before I settle down"

This is utterly stupid too. So you want to add to the already certain drama and complexity of merging lives with another human? Here is the deal, If I want all of these things before I meet "the one" I can do it in no less than 15 days. It takes 10 days to train travel across Europe, so I book a Monday flight and I go from hostel to hostel meeting all sorts of people, to be sure I have missed nothing, I take photographs of the notable folks. On my way back to the states I rent a hooker and satisfy my very weird airplane fetish (which by the way, is strange. Fetishes in general are warped and pathetic to me). Once I have touched down in the USA I have five (5) days to review my photos and write down memories I want to acknowledge. Okay, now it's time to find "the one", right?

Yes, it really is this simple and easy to satisfy needs.

III: "Finding Love"
This portion of the article was really just sort of like watching an old cat trying to capture a quick mouse, she just never really had a chance. That said, The definition of "Love" sort of baffles me anyways, I mean, great admiration or lust, that I can figure, but love? Not so much. I will admit I am weird in the fact I truly believe that "blood is thicker than water" and therefore would say the closest thing to love is that shared bond of blood. But, anything else is just a matter of high levels of admiration or fixation on another, fully replicable. So naturally, the notion of "finding love" or adapting yourself to be "ready" for love is just comical to me. Finding love makes it seem like you were just digging through your garbage bin and found some love in there and by adapting for it, do you just mean temporarily concealing your massive insecurities and shortcomings? I'll take your silence to mean, yes.

This is the part I really struggle with, the mentioning of "leaving a life I so enjoyed to find love". If you so enjoyed whoring around and boozing without consequence, why are you leaving it? Your leaving it to find love has accomplished nothing aside from likely beginning the demise of an otherwise innocent and unknowing person. Obviously, you are a self indulgent person to begin with so why abandon your natural instincts? The only outcome for leaving and thus Mourning your single life" is that you will meet someone who actually has good intentions and fooling them into believing you are a well organized person with little to no baggage, only to find out that you actually are a liar with numerous insecurities and more baggage then a Japanese tourist. Subsequently, this person realizes their mistakes (probably too late) and their life at least in the short term is completely ruined. Please spare me of your "finding love".

IV: "Life Stages"
This possibly manifested itself during the education process, for every accomplishment we received a star or some sort of medal then when we moved onto a new level we received a piece of paper signed by someone we couldn't pick out of a lineup. Well, in actuality, there are no stages in life. That isn't entirely true, there are two; birth and death. The rest is just the process.

I understand it sounds like I take the fun out of life but really I am not, I am merely trying to simplify things. I just cannot stand listening to people drone on any longer about their "next stage in life" because it is completely fictitious. The next stage will be the same as the last stage just with a different cast of idiots, it's as simple as that. You start school as a child in the hopes of being systematically educated in order to become a productive member of society. For some it takes, others it doesn't. The education process tends to break into tiers after high school, those who have found their relative roles follow the appropriate path, those who don't float around for a while. Now at any point here you can choose to "find love" or remain single, my only advice would be, don't take the final when you have only read the first few chapters. Meaning, if you are 20 and have met very few people or spent time with just one other person it is probably not in your best interest to marry the first one out the gate. However, if you have been around and experienced a good variety of people and their accompanying stupidity then perhaps you are educated enough to make a good selection. (Note: Nowhere here do I say love. I said a good selection. Meaning, somebody that will help balance your life and whom you can provide balance for as well. It is assumed that you already are attracted to this person physically or mentally, or both - or they are independently wealthy)

Epilogue:
I honestly feel that by creating stages you just add to the pressure in life. By creating fictitious deadlines and goals you are setting yourself up for failure and its subsequent period of depression. Spend the first part of your education learning what you are capable of and what is out there, the next phase of education building yourself or fortifying yourself - depending on how far along you are. Then get out of school and begin to try and dig a nice foothold in your world. Shortly after this you are probably ready to start scanning others for compatibility. If in fact a family is what you desire in life. If you don't know or don't care to have a committed family and eternal obligations, then just go around doing whatever you want. You're entitled to that much for your efforts.

I mean for me it is pretty simple stuff. Sometimes not so simple to carry out, but in theory, it is relatively simple math. I decided what I will and wont stand for with regards to people and treatment. I concluded that I can live my life as if it were going along a slide rule. "If this occurs, my reaction will be..." or "should a person do or say this to me, my level of tolerance will be...etc." and then win or lose, I follow it. I am a person who desires a traditional family lifestyle and so when I see or meet a person I think has a specific skillset or offering who I find attractive I go for broke. I don't sit back and wait on it. Does it work all the time? No, it surely doesn't. In fact, it hasn't worked yet.